Thursday, May 30, 2013

Yesterday I was happy

This morning I said to a friend "yesterday I was happy for the first time in about 3 months." 

2013 has been a rough year so far.

Work has been hectic.  I am juggling three client assignments right now, and am used to only one.  It's good for my career in the long-term, but in the short-term, it's been a struggle.  I'm not used to struggling at work.  I'm used to being a badass.  I have learned a lot in the process...foremost of which is I prefer being a badass to struggling.

My health has been, shall we say, less than optimal.  I've been to the doctor more so far this year than in the previous 5 years.  Short version: I have two long-term health issues.  One has been dealt with temporarily through a minor surgery.  The surgery went fine, though I was very nervous about it.  Waiting and getting my blood drawn were the hardest parts.  Now, it's a wait and see game.  The other issue I will be taking medication for the rest of my life.  Always fun.

Personal life has been ... I don't have a good adjective here.  My constant companions anxiety and depression have been seductively close to me for the past few months.  Sometimes I can see through their masks to the liars underneath, but sometimes the bed with the black satin sheets just looks so inviting that I tumble in.  And once I'm there, I don't really want to leave.  

This is just more evidence that struggling sucks.  File that under things-you-already-knew.

Anyhow, I've been thinking for a while that getting back to writing would be good for me.  I don't know how funny or sarcastic I'll be.  But I'll be me.  Whichever me I am at the moment.