Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Sex and cars

Well, that title certainly got your attention, didn't it.

I am on a business trip, and the travel gods (aka the rental car guy who is nice to me) gave me a beautiful, shiny red Mustang this week.  It's gorgeous.

Every time I start the engine, I grin to myself.  It purrrrrs.

And the few times (I mean, I do have to work sometime) I have taken it out on the highway, it responds in such a way that all I can think of are sexual metaphors.

Pushing the accelerator makes me think of lines that would probably be appropriate in porn.  Most of them involve the words "harder" or "faster."

Going up a steep hill makes me think I asked it to do something naughty ... and it likes that.

I haven't figured out what would make me think it was asking for a spanking.  But I'm curious.

As I noticed the bent my mind was taking in this car, I decided that sex is the easiest way to describe how American muscle cars are different from European performance cars.  The Europeans like to seduce you with their handling and gracefully take you to bed.   American cars just want to get it on.

I am going to be very sad to return this car tomorrow.  It has such personality.  I don't think I'd want a Mustang as my only car.  But if I could have a second car, I think I'd have to consider it.

Random other fun fact about the Mustang:  It likes classic rock.  It won't tolerate adult contemporary, pop, country or anything less metal.  It might be okay with more contemporary rock though.  But I don't want to test its limits ... well, not with respect to music anyway.


  1. I find myself a wee bit flushed at your allegory. However, I approve.

  2. Lol yeah, I blushed on this one. But it made me laugh, and that is my litmus test.

  3. I have a feeling that your readership is going to suddenly grow larger.

    One more reason why we need an American autobahn, because those babies aren't designed to be cooped up. It is like putting a tiger in a small cage.

  4. I am totally on board with an American autobahn. I think there should be a road in every state where you can drive at high speeds *safely*.

    And readership, well we'll see. Ha!

  5. You speak to me heart when you speak car.

    And sex.

    And then you speak of both at the same time?

    My head might explode. Or at least something on/in me will...

  6. Hubba Hubba. Note to self - more posts involving sex and cars.