Filter

Do you have a verbal filter?  That thing in your head that catches inappropriate / rude / mean / silly / what-have-you comments as they leave your brain on the way to your mouth?

I think mine is made of carbon fiber.  Or maybe titanium.  It’s seriously industrial strength.

Sometimes this is a good thing.  It certainly helps in the work place while dealing with day-to-day issues.  I am able to be diplomatic because the stuff I want to say (such as “are you bleeping kidding me?”) end up translated into polite speech (such as “I think this deadline is going to present challenges.”). 

In the rest of my life, it can be helpful.  I mean, it’s good not to be mean and offend people, especially when you’re just cranky and inclined to be snippy. 

But I often wish it would go away.  My filter is so strong it can keep me from expressing what I really want.  Sometimes that is good, too – I mean, you can’t always get what you want.  And being selfish is not really a quality people look for in friends.   (At least, I’ve never heard anyone express that desire.)

I recognize that my filter is part of me.  It’s ingrained in me.  It’s how I was raised.  I don’t know how to turn it off, generally speaking.

(Of course, if I am on prescription medicine – or have had a few drinks – it goes away in a poof of smoke!  But that’s not really practical in every day life.)

I admire those who are not only in touch with their emotions, but are able to express them appropriately.  Maybe one day I’ll be there.  Guess we’ll see!